Now and then,
Every now and then,
I feel the hurt again,
the pain of everything crashing down.
In that one instance,
My whole consciousness of
being alive is engrossed on my wrists,
Almost like I can feel the scars beating with my heart’s pace,
A continuous reminder of what the pain has done to me,
What it now and then still does.
Now and then,
I take it as a reminder of how far I've
come,
How everything is passable,
and how I am strong because of it all,
Other times,
It breaks me down.
Shoves the awareness of the pain in my face,
Screaming at me to think of it,
My past,
To at least address it,
To give it the attention it pleads for.
Still, other times, it leaves me gasping,
Shy of what to think or how to respond,
Just sitting there on my own,
With zero but my pounding heart and mindfulness,
Not a thing to think about but memories and this state of mind,
It's those times when I make the most improvement,
Feel the toughest,
Now and then,
When I think of all I have to live for,
All the love that's worth the struggles,
The gorgeousness of life's rose as an alternative of it's thorns,
It's in those moments that the scars aren't a sign of pain,
or a soft cry for help,
But simply a memory,
A memory of mountains that I have climbed,
Difficulties that I have passed,
They are,
In that moment, a painting
of my past,
A token of my victory.
It's then that I smile, still feeling my heart beat,
And go on with whatsoever I was doing,
Happy to know who I am and know my life is worth it all.
This might sound silly and you might question it's truth,
But it is true.
Now and then,
Every now and then,
I feel the pain once more,
Of everything crashing down,
And it's in that moment when I realize that everything will be okay,
Short of these wounds,
Short of the pain to remind me every now and then,
I might fail to recall everything there is to recall,
I might forget that no matter what I feel,
I'm still here,
And I believe with all my being,
That that is something to live for.
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