One of the things that I remember the most about being younger is the fact that I had no confidence in myself.
I’m not saying that just to sound like I understand what it feels like, I really had absolutely no belief in myself or my abilities. Basically, I thought I was worthless and not good at anything.
However, when I think back at it, at least it made me understand one thing or two about confidence.
You may be trying to undersatand why exactly you’re not confident, but you just can’t get it. It seems like you’re doing everything right, but you find yourself asking “Why the hell I’m I not confident ?”
If you’re eager to know why you’re not confident, here are the most probable reasons.
1.You treat people’s opinions of you as facts
Basically, if someone says something negative about you, you automatically label it as a fact, without thinking that it’s just what someone thinks, which means that they could be wrong.
To give you a clearer picture, look at the dictionary :
opinion : A view or judgement formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge.
fact : A thing that is known or proved to be true.
Do you see the difference ? If you’re treating opinions (which can be/are wrong) as facts (which are always true) it’s no wonder that you’ll destroy your confidence because you’re giving people the power to tell you who you are.
2. You’re not really good at anything
When you don’t have a certain level of skill, it will be hard for you to be confident. Why ? Well, people who are somewhat good at something have a proven record of success.
It’s like you’re saying to yourself “Look, I managed to do X, it means that I must be good .”
However, when you don’t have anything that you’re good at, you don’t have any past experience that reinforces your confidence.
In other words, when you’re not good at anything, you just can’t feel that confidence.
3. You never push your limits
Pushing your limits means that you’ll keep doing something difficult when you want to quit. This is also a big reason that could be stopping you from being confident.
When you’re always living in the “comfort zone” you’re always dealing with those comfortable situation that don’t require you to grow as a person.
The result ? You never grow. Since you only need to do what you’re already comfortable with, you never have to use your willpower, to think, or face a certain situation.
This lack of exposure to adversity makes you really used to that comfort, and the moment you’re forced to do something unusual, you start to doubt your ability to pull it off.
It’s the lack of the “I’ve done it before” factor that causes that doubt. In essence, if you never push your limits, you’ll never become confident of what you can do.
4. You’re not learning new stuff
Simply put, you can’t feel really confident if you’re at a stagnant of knowledge. If you’re just constantly at the same level, not learning anything, you’ll find it hard to trust yourself because when you’re not improving, you don’t feel that sense of achievement needed to make you confident.
5. You failed a lot in the past
I don’t even think this needs more explanation. Having a past full of bad experiences will probably make you doubt your abilities at some point, and I don’t think this one is a surprise either.
6. You make excuses
This means that instead of doing something that will contribute to your improvement, you come up with some false excuse because you don’t want to make any effort.
Now, these are possible reasons stopping you from being confident. The bigger question is : how exactly can you become confident ?
I’m not saying that just to sound like I understand what it feels like, I really had absolutely no belief in myself or my abilities. Basically, I thought I was worthless and not good at anything.
However, when I think back at it, at least it made me understand one thing or two about confidence.
You may be trying to undersatand why exactly you’re not confident, but you just can’t get it. It seems like you’re doing everything right, but you find yourself asking “Why the hell I’m I not confident ?”
If you’re eager to know why you’re not confident, here are the most probable reasons.
1.You treat people’s opinions of you as facts
Basically, if someone says something negative about you, you automatically label it as a fact, without thinking that it’s just what someone thinks, which means that they could be wrong.
To give you a clearer picture, look at the dictionary :
opinion : A view or judgement formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge.
fact : A thing that is known or proved to be true.
Do you see the difference ? If you’re treating opinions (which can be/are wrong) as facts (which are always true) it’s no wonder that you’ll destroy your confidence because you’re giving people the power to tell you who you are.
2. You’re not really good at anything
When you don’t have a certain level of skill, it will be hard for you to be confident. Why ? Well, people who are somewhat good at something have a proven record of success.
It’s like you’re saying to yourself “Look, I managed to do X, it means that I must be good .”
However, when you don’t have anything that you’re good at, you don’t have any past experience that reinforces your confidence.
In other words, when you’re not good at anything, you just can’t feel that confidence.
3. You never push your limits
Pushing your limits means that you’ll keep doing something difficult when you want to quit. This is also a big reason that could be stopping you from being confident.
When you’re always living in the “comfort zone” you’re always dealing with those comfortable situation that don’t require you to grow as a person.
The result ? You never grow. Since you only need to do what you’re already comfortable with, you never have to use your willpower, to think, or face a certain situation.
This lack of exposure to adversity makes you really used to that comfort, and the moment you’re forced to do something unusual, you start to doubt your ability to pull it off.
It’s the lack of the “I’ve done it before” factor that causes that doubt. In essence, if you never push your limits, you’ll never become confident of what you can do.
4. You’re not learning new stuff
Simply put, you can’t feel really confident if you’re at a stagnant of knowledge. If you’re just constantly at the same level, not learning anything, you’ll find it hard to trust yourself because when you’re not improving, you don’t feel that sense of achievement needed to make you confident.
5. You failed a lot in the past
I don’t even think this needs more explanation. Having a past full of bad experiences will probably make you doubt your abilities at some point, and I don’t think this one is a surprise either.
6. You make excuses
This means that instead of doing something that will contribute to your improvement, you come up with some false excuse because you don’t want to make any effort.
Now, these are possible reasons stopping you from being confident. The bigger question is : how exactly can you become confident ?
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