I DID MY BEST

I couldn't speak for my self.I told my self i could when i grow up.I was loyal
and i implemented what the teachers
 said there is time for everything. And So i waited.
I was the best in everything  i did! people believed in me,they believed if i was among them there is victory. But i never believed my self. I did everything..But i had two phases. Me in reality and me in drama.
I fit the society well in the drama me...
kind of funny with lots of jokes. I've never been serious even in seriousness
They think im sharp;brave. When it comes to real matters. I try to be real nobody believes me. Nobody believes im a coward yet i can give speech to a gathering. I just say to me that was not me.
I cant stand before a mirror,I'll see my self worthless. I cant smile to a mirror. I'll just see my self crying. But i can i Drama me.
I just want to be me; I did,and im still doing my best not to fake a smile.
I want to be alone so as i can be me.
But my Drama life made me famous. I' ve a large circle. I'm a friend of your friend. But i'm sure you don't know we are friends.
I guess you see i lack something
But you can't tell me. Don't try i would act to be okay.I read actiles;watch documentaries and tutorials on how to be me.They all say Don't force anything,what you think is what happens and pray.I followed what they say. Here im still the same.
I did my best;i don't know when will the drama end? i don't know if the real me is dead!



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